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Happy Birthday to Me!

 

I recently celebrated my 41st birthday, while at dinner my husband and I were discussing how I felt turning 41, I felt rather peaceful.  In year's past, my birthday represented an annual self-analyzation which usually resulted in me pointing out more negative flaws then positive ones.  Somewhere in life, I had picked up the belief that each year correlated directly with a life accomplishment and if that wasn't met you were a failure.  Mid-twenties have a nice car, the late twenties established a career, the early thirties own a home,  and of course be on the early retirement track.

 

This year it was all different, I was so calm and peaceful about it, in fact, I almost forgot it was coming up.  I feel it is because I have finally found peace with me.  I am not perfect and that is okay - none of us are.  I stopped beating myself up with all the should have - could have - what was I thinking negative self-talk.  I have made peace with God.  I am finally stepping into the joy of being married {we are enjoying a year and seven months}.  I am a continual work in progress, moving in a forward direction, improving almost daily.  The days I don't improve I extend myself grace.

 

It has taken me a long time to come to this peace with my life, with aging, as can be expected it was a lot of years of letting garbage fill my head.  If you happen to be like the old me, spending every birthday noting all "failures" instead of being in the moment and celebrating YOU, please stop.  Make the list of all your blessings, the amazing people you share life with, and what you are grateful for.  If you don't know your life purpose yet ask God to show you.  I am not 100% sure of my purpose or how it is to all unfold, I do know I am moving in the right direction.  Now I look forward to continual improvement and birthdays!

 

He gives us grace so we can give ourselves grace.

 

Nicole Lynn
 

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